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You Are NOT A Libertarian

Libertarianism is the new black. Or if you’re Rand Paul, libertarianism is a way to screw blacks, but I digress. It feels as if more and more people every day are proclaiming their libertarianism. If libertarianism were female, she would be the new “it” girl.

I cringe every time someone tells me they’re a libertarian. I cringe because I know they’re not. Most people want government where they want it, and don’t want it where they don’t want it. That’s not libertarianism. Those lines are usually drawn by a predisposition to either liberalism or conservatism.

So let’s run through a series of questions that will demonstrate why you’re not a libertarian.

1 – Do you have an example of a libertarian government that you would like to model our government after? If you can’t name a successful example of your political ideology, then it’s not an ideology. It’s a fantasy. So unless you can come up with an example of a society that functions with no government intervention other than Somalia (which is mine), you’re NOT a libertarian.

2 – Can you name twenty things that the federal government does for you, off the top of your head? If you can’t describe all of the things that the federal government does, then you definitely haven’t put any meaningful consideration into how to better do those things.

3 – Can you name a successful financial system that includes no government intervention whatsoever? Again if you can’t do this, then you have a hallucination, not an ideology or a hypothesis.

4 – Can you name an instance when an oppressed minority achieved equality without government intervention? If you can’t, you’re living in an unrealistic Utopian fantasy where the unprecedented is possible. Or, you don’t give a shit about civil rights. Or worse yet, you’re a straight up racist because you’re happy oppressing the rights of minorities. Hey, wait a minute – maybe the teabaggers ARE true libertarians!

5 – Are you prepared to legalize all drugs and drug related activities? If you’re not fine with your neighbor cooking crystal meth in their bathtub, you’re not a libertarian. You should also be prepared to not be bothered by that neighbor peddling their goods on your street. Embrace their lovely clientele meandering through your neighborhood, because you’re a libertarian.

6 – Are you prepared to accept any and all social behavior such as prostitution, dog fighting, and voyeurism, to name a few? If you feel compelled to legislate any aspect of how people choose to live their lives, then you’re not a libertarian.

I find that most “libertarians” can’t get through questions 1 – 4. I suspect that they would have “exceptions” that they would want enforced in questions 5 and 6.

The wheels are falling off the Rand Paul wagon because he’s having a hard time getting through questions 1 – 4. Libertarianism, in its pure and sincere form is insane. It can’t stand up to even minor scrutiny because it’s wildly unpopular to anyone that isn’t emotionally invested in the ideology. Most people know in their hearts, that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was the right thing to do. Most people understand that if you remove protections for the disabled, you’ll have a slew of disabled people panhandling you on the street, rather than earning the living that they’re capable of earning. Rand Paul is falling apart because libertarianism is a fundamentally indefensible fantasy.

In order to buy into libertarianism, you have to believe that people will do the right thing simply because it’s the right thing to do. Does anyone actually believe this? When you start to take it apart, libertarianism is no more viable than the tooth fairy is. This is an ideology that can only stand the test of time, as long it’s never put to a test.

And because it’s never has been (nor will it ever be) put to a test, it’s a perfect little dream world to take refuge in when everything else has gone to shit.

When your government is 100% bought and paid for by corporate interests, and therefore useless in protecting your interests, there’s always the libertarianism magic pony to jump on. When you hate government and need to blame it for Wall Street fucking you in your small government delusion, there’s always the libertarian Utopia to fall back on.

Libertarianism isn’t something that people actually believe in. It’s a mythical land that you can run to in your mind when everything is falling apart before your very eyes.

Stop acting like a fucking child, retreating into your “happy place” when the world is falling apart around you. Work to fix what went wrong with the system. Dreaming isn’t going to fix anything. Educate yourself, and get proactive.

You are NOT a libertarian. Please stop telling me that you are. I’m tired of taking this delusion apart one person at a time.

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2 thoughts on “You Are NOT A Libertarian

  1. A short response to some of your points. I’ve actually been a libertarian since I was a teenager in the 70’s.

    1. If this were true, there could be no new ideas in government, because they had never been done before. I’m guessing that you don’t actually believe this.

    2. Nobody can describe all the things the federal government does, because no one person knows all the things the federal government does. It is too freaking big.

    3. This is a strawman. Libertarians are not all anarchists, though some are. They generally do support a lot less government than we have now.

    4. I’m guessing that you haven’t studied much history, because if you did, you would know that governments are usually the oppressors, not the ones stopping the oppression.

    5. Just like the tobacco and liquor companies peddle their wares on my street. The world hasn’t ended because of it. Or are you proposing that they be outlawed too?

    6. At least prostitution is legal in some places, and it hasn’t led to the end of civilization.

    I don’t know Rand Paul, and I have no idea what his positions on any issues are, though I know of his father.

    It would be good to have a discussion about real issues, and possible smaller government solutions to some of them. But this post isn’t rational discussion, this is just a rant.

  2. 1. I actually do mean everything in my post. Government (all governments) get bigger and bigger over time out of necessity. Just like companies develop more procedures and red tape as they grow. It’s necessary for maintaining order, and a basic quality of life. To suggest otherwise is to be utterly ignorant of history.

    2. I didn’t ask anyone to name ALL of the things the federal government provides. I’m just asking for 20. Since they’re so enormous, coming up with 20 should be easy. Hell, you should be able to get 10, just by standing out in front of your house. This isn’t some sort of trap I’ve created. I just want to point out that you HONESTLY can’t believe something unless you’ve thought it through. If you can’t come up with better ways to deliver services to the American people that what we have now, then you don’t REALLY believe in anything other than a cute little fantasy.

    3. Everybody talks about “smaller government” because the one we have now stinks. You’re creating a false choice here. How about improving the government we have? The myth of libertarianism is just plain laziness. Wanting to tear it all down is easier than looking closely at where it’s all gone horribly wrong.

    4. I’ve studied quite a bit of history. Have you? Were you able to answer questions 1 – 4?

    Rand and Ron have identical philosophies of governance. Identical. It’s actually bizarre that Rand doesn’t appear to have a single independent thought in his head. I’m guessing that because his ideology was programmed into him, rather than being something that he worked out in his own mind, he’s having more difficulty answering questions. He’s imploding very quickly. It didn’t take long for him to start blaming everyone else for his own missteps.

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