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The Hunger Games, Bitchy Style

So I’ve been reading The Hunger Games trilogy (I recommend them), and over the weekend I had an idea inspired by the books.

I think that we should have our own Hunger Games. If you don’t know the central premise of the book, let me fill you in before I impart my Bitchy spin on the idea. In the books, children (they’re called “tributes”)from all across the country are picked to fight in the Hunger Games. The object of the game is to kill all of the other children, lest you be killed. The children are placed in an arena, which is crafted by the puppet masters who control the environment, create genetically modified creatures to aid in the killing, etc.

Here’s my thought on The Hunger Games we should have. I want to create an arena that looks a lot like a dark movie theater. I want to fill that arena with tear gas, and I want to put a heavily armed homicidal maniac in the arena. The tributes in my Hunger Games would be every politician who believes that the Aurora shooting could have been prevented if more people in the theater had guns. While we’re at it, I want additional tributes to be any politician that has ever gotten a passing grade from the NRA.

To be fair, I would allow all of the tributes to have one firearm of their choice,  containing a full clip of ammunition. They will not receive gas masks or night vision goggles, since seeing in the dark, through a cloud of tear gas apparently isn’t a problem.

To be extra generous, I won’t make them fight it out to the death. Everyone who is left alive after the homicidal maniac has been killed, gets to leave the theater a victor.

So what do you think? Sound like fun to you?