Bitchy | The Bitchy Pundit - Part 34

Propagandists Work Too Hard

July 27, 2010 by Bitchy

They really do. It’s not easy. They have to start a news network, start a publishing company, start a polling organization to legitimize the crap they say in their books and on their news network. And on top of all that, they have to finely tune the deception and obfuscation, lest the public catch onto their propagandistic ways.

Poor propaganda machine. They desperately need some relief. Fortunately, I have a brilliant solution, but it may take some behavior modification on your part. Let me walk you through what you have to do step by step so that you don’t get confused about your role.

The first (and most important) step is that you must be willfully ignorant. Let me be clear on this point; you can’t just be passively ignorant, you must be proactively ignorant. So if you’re channel surfing and happen upon a news network, IMMEDIATELY change your channel to something in the teens so as to ensure that you land comfortably on an episode of Seinfeld or Friends. They will serve as your snuggie of ignorance, enveloping you in a warm embrace of cluelessness. Another thing that you must be aware of, is the pitfalls of the internet. Surfing the internet is fine, but only if you take a few precautions. Step one is to hide any of your Facebook connections that might be aware of the world around them. Step two is to make sure to avert your eyes when you stumble upon a news story. So if you come across something about WikiLeaks and Afghanistan, you should definitely move your gaze to the portion of the screen that has Lindsay Lohan’s mug shot on it. That last one is very important because it’s not only the best way to be proactively ignorant, but it’s also your duty as an American not to jeopardize national security by reading such things.

Never mind the fact that some people have risked their careers and their very freedom to get the truth out there, ostensibly because what they’re being asked to do goes against the military code of conduct, or is so shocking to their conscience, that they felt compelled to get the information to the public. You have a duty to, as a patriotic American, not to know what the truth is. You see if you know the truth, you jeopardize the American way of life and the very freedom that our troops are fighting to protect. Not the freedom to be informed with the truth about your government, but all of the other ones like gun ownership and the freedom to stop your gay neighbor from marrying their lifelong partner. Those are the important freedoms that must be protected at all costs.

So in the interest of protecting national security, and of alleviating some of the pressure from our propagandists, stay ignorant. And by “stay ignorant” I mean work hard to be ignorant. Otherwise you’re just a bad American.

Are Democrats Born With No Balls, Or Does Someone Remove Them After They’re Sworn In?

July 22, 2010 by Bitchy

Democrats are a party made up of the biggest pussies in America. And we all lucked out bigtime, by getting the cream of the pussy crop in the white house. And the best part is that every time democratic voters come close to forgetting that they support a party of eunuchs, they generously remind us by pulling a Shirley Sherrod type fiasco.

If you missed the story, here’s the background on the Shirley situation. She was asked (repeatedly and vehemently) to resign from the USDA on Monday after Andrew Breitbart posted a video of her online, in which she seems to be a racist. In the video, she recounts a 25 year old story in which considered denying a white farmer assistance because of her own racial bias. The video was edited and the remarks that she made before and after the clip that Breitbart posted clearly showed that she was speaking out against racial bias. It was a story about getting past bigotry.

Once the Breitbart version of the video was posted, the right wing did what they do – they turned the whole thing into a shit storm. Fox “news” anchors were salivating like starving cats looking at a raw piece of tuna, as they told the tale of racism at the NAACP. The more vitriolic pundits turned it into “further” evidence that Obama hates white people.

Let me take a step back and fill you in on Andrew Breitbart. He started as Matt Drudge’s bitch and it’s been downhill ever since. The most significant thing that he’s done, was to release the incriminating “pimp and ho” videos of ACORN. You know, the videos that we now know were hacked to pieces to make it appear that ACORN employees eagerly participated in helping a pimp and his ho launder their money.

So what do Tom Vilsack, the United States Secretary Of Agriculture (Shirley Sherrod’s boss) and the white house administration do when an incriminating video is released from a dubious source? They naturally spring into action to try and minimize the hurt that the video and Fox news are putting on them by demanding Shirley’s resignation. Was this the rational thing to do? Not even a little. Was I surprised? Not even a little.

We’ve seen this before with the Van Jones incident and with the ACORN incident. I was LIVID when the administration forced Van Jones out because Fox baselessly smeared him. I was livid because I know that what the Obama administration had done, was set a horrible precedent. They let Fox know that they would happily play the part of road kill every time Fox felt like steam rolling them. They should have stood up to Fox, stood behind Van Jones by reiterating his remarkable record in the area of green technology, refuted (or refudiated for my less literate readers) the ridiculous allegations, and shown Fox who their daddy was. But no, they instead chose to throw Van Jones and themselves under the bus by becoming Roger Ailes’ bitch.

By the time the administration caved on ACORN, there was absolutely NO chance Fox wasn’t going to use the power that Obama had given them over him, every chance they got.

So when another video emerges from Andrew Breitbart, the administration didn’t even have to bend over. They hadn’t had enough time to stand upright from the last reaming. It was all very convenient and really just a matter of letting muscle memory do its thing.

But then something truly bizarre and downright inexplicable happened – the truth came out about the video, and the media reported it! In America! I was dumbfounded!

So Tom Vilsack called a press conference and did a mea culpa. He took complete responsibility for fucking this up, apologized to Shirley, and offered her another position. That part was fine. Personally, I like it when people admit they wrong and take responsibility for their mistakes. I find it refreshing and trust inspiring. He went on to shield the administration from this whole mess by taking sole ownership over the debacle, although anyone that believes that this didn’t go up to (at least) Rahm Emanuel is a foolish child. I can live with that part of Vilsack’s comments, even though they were blatantly untrue. But I had one major problem with the apology. I had a problem with the fact that Vilsack didn’t address the biggest fuck up that they had made. He rightfully apologized for not taking some time to investigate the matter before firing this poor woman. But what he should also have apologized for, is not considering the source before trusting the information. He should have drawn attention to the fact that Andrew Breitbart and Fox news are clearly not reliable sources for information. He should have apologized for making that rookie mistake, and promised that he would never do it again. But he didn’t do that, because the Obama administration will forever be Fox news’ bitch.

So after all of this goes down, what do Fox and Breitbart do? They bitch slap the administration for jumping the gun on firing poor Shirley Sherrod. And the left wing media is going ape shit over this, to which I say, why? This may possibly be the first correct assessment that Fox or Breitbart have ever made! Why go ballistic over this part of it? Did they expect Fox or Breitbart to apologize for their part in it? If so, are they stupid? Expecting an apology or a mea culpa from these people completely unrealistic and just plain crazy. Fox and Breitbart just did what Fox and Breitbart do; they attacked. Expecting that they wouldn’t attack is like expecting that a mosquito won’t bite you. It just doesn’t make any sense. I understand being stunned and confused that the attack is legitimate (who could have seen that coming!), but I can’t fathom being incensed that it came. Make no mistake, the administration deserves to be spanked over this. They fucked up when they set the door mat precedent with the Van Jones incident. They compounded the fuck up by not stopping the ACORN witch hunt. Shirley Sherrod was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. They deserve to be spanked for everything they did that led up to this incident. And most of all, they deserve to be spanked for being afraid of Glenn Beck.

Oh, did I forget the Glenn Beck part of the story? Vilsack’s office called poor Shirley three times to demand her resignation. She was in her car when the third call came in. They made her pull over to type out her resignation email on her blackberry. Why the urgency? Because they wanted her resignation before Glenn Beck came on TV. Yup, they were afraid that Glenn Beck was going to be really mean to them. UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!

The left wing should have joined the right wing in condemning the hasty and ill conceived actions by the administration. Maybe if we all joined in a chorus together, the Obama administration might learn a lesson.

But no, the left wing media is doing the same (albeit much more mildly) thing that the right wing media does for republicans. They’re apologizing for the unacceptable.

I want better from my president than to have him perpetually cower to right wing media. And the only way to help him to see the error of his ways is to point out that he’s wrong every time he does it. Shielding him isn’t going to do anyone any good. It just ensures that he’ll be crapping his pants every time Glenn Beck says anything about him.

No, I won’t stand behind Obama on this, and I don’t believe that anyone that supports him should either. If you want him to be a leader, you have to spank him when he fucks up. I have my paddle warmed up for a good spanking because this country can’t take another failed presidency. I suggest you all get yours ready for action as well.

ps – I just want to add an observation. If you’re a black person serving in this administration, and you’ve been paying attention, you should know that you have less job security than anyone in the world. Racist against whites, MY ASS!

The Horatio Alger Problem

July 14, 2010 by Bitchy

Horatio Alger is the reason that 50% of the 1.7 million Americans whose unemployment benefits have been disrupted because of republicans in the senate, will vote republican in November. I’ll go a step further – Horatio Alger is the reason why the republican party still exists today.

Horatio Alger was a late 19th century author who wrote happy, clappy rags to riches stories aimed at young working class men. He wrote his inspiring tales during a time when the American dream was actually somewhat viable. Sure the legacy rich have always had a significant advantage in the American “capitalist” system but in Alger’s time, hard working nobodies had some measure of a shot at moving into a higher economic class than the one they were born into.

But his happy claptrap has been coming back to bite us in the ass for decades now. The American dream has been dying a slow and painful death for at least the past 40 years. Income inequality in America is reaching Gilded Age (1880) levels.

Here are some interesting facts about where we’re headed;

-Between 1979 and 2000, the real income in the bottom 20% of earners in the US grew by 6.4%. During that same period, real income for the top 20% of earners grew by 70%.

-The family income of the top 1% grew by 184%.

-In 1979 the average income of the top 1% was 133 times that of the bottom 20%. In 2000 the income of the top 1% had risen to 189 times that of the bottom fifth.

-Thirty years ago, the average CEO made thirty-nine times the pay of the average worker. Today, it’s over one thousand times the pay of the average worker.

According to an OECD (Organization for Economic Co-Operation and Development) study released earlier this year, 47 percent of the economic advantage that high-earning fathers in the United States have over low-earning fathers is transmitted to their sons, compared to 17 percent in Australia and 19 percent in Canada.What does this mean? It means that if you’re born rich in America, you’re more likely to stay rich regardless of ability or intelligence (think George W Bush or the Koch brothers). And when people that are born rich have an advantage by virtue of being born rich, that means they’re taking opportunities away from everyone else (Google: nepotism).

Here’s a little spreadsheet that paints a VERY clear picture of what’s happening to America:

Are you seeing a pattern here between wealth distribution and which party has the white house? 99% of Americans got fucked by Reagan, Bush 1.0 and Bush 2.0.

The wealth inequity in this country is growing, and it’s happening fast. This brings me back to the Horatio Alger problem and republicans.

See, republicans have completely stopped pretending to be a populist party. Between their “slush fund” mantra, when referring to the funds that President Obama secured from BP, to their choking off unemployment benefits to people that desperately need them, their message is clear; we don’t give a shit about average Americans. If you don’t have a butt load of cash to donate to our reelection fund, you can go fuck yourself.

That’s not hyperbole; that’s a very clear message from republicans. Just yesterday, Jon Kyl (the other douchebag senator from Arizona) said that the Bush tax cuts should remain in place regardless of their impact on the deficit. And yet, he will only agree to sanction unemployment benefits for struggling Americans if they’re paid for. His deficit hawkiness evaporates when it comes to paying for tax cuts for his really fucking rich donor buddies. But if you’re one of the 1.7 million Americans fighting to secure one of the 370,000 jobs that are available, then you’re clearly a lazy slacker who deserves to starve. Republicans aren’t hinting at the fact that they think you’re a loser that should just go away already, they’re saying it outright. Sharon Angle has said it, Rand Paul has said it, Jon Kyle has said it, and Tom Delay has said it. That’s just naming a few among a vast sea of republicans that have contempt for struggling workers (see an older post of mine here).

But when it comes to alleviating the suffering of the rich, there’s nothing that republicans won’t do or say. You know how they always champion the elimination of capital gains tax? Let’s take a look at who has capital gains in America, shall we:

Let me explain what “capital gains” are. Capital gains is essentially the money that your money earns for you. It’s the appreciation in value of your investments. This includes property, stocks, and the value of your business. It’s the money that you make from the extra money that you had lying around to invest. Well not you (as we can see from all the data), you’re broke. We’re talking about Paris Hilton. She’s making a shitload of money off the money that her grandfather made. She didn’t even need to be born to smart parents. Her parents aren’t that bright. No, all she needed to do was to be born to the children of a smart guy. Everybody knows Conrad Hilton. Does anyone know the name of Paris’ father? No, me neither. And the best part is that Paris doesn’t have to do anything to make money. That whole celebrity whore thing she does is purely for her own enjoyment.

The fact that Paris and her parents can stay rich, despite having no discernible intelligence or talent, makes them the beneficiaries of another favorite republican cause; eliminating estate taxes. Republicans believe that while you’re working your whole life, amassing no capital with which to create gains, Paris and her family should be able to inherit a crapload of money that they shouldn’t pay one thin dime in taxes on. And Jon Kyl doesn’t care how big of a deficit we have create in order to preserve this “right” for Paris. She was born lucky and dammit, Jon Kyl is going to do everything he can to extend her luck because she’s obviously going to create millions of jobs with her ill gotten gains.

So why would anybody that isn’t among the richest 1% ever vote republican? Because of Horatio Alger and the myth of the American dream. Never mind the fact that you’re on unemployment right now, you’re definitely going to be filthy rich someday, and therefore need to make sure that your kids don’t get hosed by having to pay taxes on the billions that you’re going to leave them in your will. Some people (roughly half of us) have to buy into the thinly veiled republican bullshit in order to keep the illusion of the American dream alive.

The sad irony is that those people are the ones that are killing the American dream. Supporting the republican effort to let rich people keep all of their money (whether they earned it or not), ensures that Americans will get poorer and poorer.

They need to get over it.

Horatio Alger is a fucking fantasy and Paris Hilton will not create a job for you, no matter how charitable you are towards her.

You need to start voting in your own best interest because the illusion you’re under isn’t going to feed you.

Republicans Won BIG, Didn’t They?

July 13, 2010July 9, 2010 by Bitchy

The Massachusetts decision that a federal gay marriage ban is unconstitutional yesterday is a HUGE victory for republicans, right?

I’m positive that what we’ll be hearing from the right wing will be, “YAY! A victory for state’s rights!” Won’t we?

This wasn’t a gay rights decision. It’s was state’s rights decision that happens to benefits gays that want rights (the NERVE!). Sorry gays, but this isn’t as much about you as you might think.

The suit, filed by MA Attorney General Martha Coakley (no, I’m still not done being pissed at her for losing an unlose-able election to a freakin nude model), asserts that DOMA (defense of marriage act) is unconstitutional because it infringes on the right of states to define marriage the way they choose to define it. The state argued that DOMA denied benefits like Medicaid or spousal social security benefits and therefore, forces the state to discriminate against its citizens. The judge agreed, thereby giving reinforcing gay rights states rights.

I have to give Martha Coakley credit (but not forgiveness for past sins) for filing a brilliantly crafted, bulletproof law suit. The judge was absolutely correct in it’s ruling; the federal government doesn’t have the power to subvert civil rights. That falls under the states’ purview (but not for long)!

There will most definitely be an appeal, which should be nothing but fun to watch. Opponents of this decision must take either an anti-state’s rights stance, or an anti-civil liberties stance.

Let’s be honest here, opposition to this ruling can only come from the right. So they’re going to have to decide between being intellectually dishonest, and repudiating the states rights mantra that they’ve been preaching since the beginning of time, or finally lifting the veil on their anti-gay beliefs.

The right wing argument against a the federal government granting same sex marriage has been that it would infringe on states rights. That argument won’t work here since the state has decided. They can’t hide behind the religious argument because they would be advocating for church to have power over the almighty state. Advocating for (essentially) a theology will forever cement republicans as a party that’s simply too batshit crazy for the majority of Americans to actually vote for.

To summarize; republicans are fucked.

Without the state’s rights facade to hide behind, republicans will be forced to advocate for suppressing civil rights for some Americans that they just don’t like. They’re finally going to be forced to be honest about where they’re coming from.

You see, when you’re intellectually dishonest, your wrongness eventually boxes you into revealing who you truly are. Republicans are going to have to (at last) reveal themselves thanks to this decision.

I’m looking forward to finally having an honest national debate about civil rights. I’m looking forward to it because America is so far, batting a thousand in terms of granting civil rights to suppressed minorities. It may take longer than some of us would like, but we eventually get there.

But the first step is to have an honest debate. Thanks to Judge Joseph Tauro, we’re finally going to have it.

Or, republicans are going to support this decision and rejoice in the triumph of states rights over the evil federal government. (sorry, I can’t help but get smarmy, sarcastic sometimes.

Fucking American Media

June 29, 2010 by Bitchy

Seriously, just when you thought it couldn’t become a bigger joke, they surprise you by showing disdain for actual reporting.

For some inexplicable reason, I always assumed that “journalists” in our media knew that they were ineffective hacks, but felt that they couldn’t do anything about it because they’re being muzzled by the corporate interests that pay them. I guess it was naiveté, or maybe my pesky sunny optimism rearing it’s ugly head again. But in watching the reaction by the media to Michael Hastings and his article in Rolling Stone about (former) General McChrystal, I realized that American journalists are actually proud of the drivel they create.

Fox news dismissed the article because Rolling Stone isn’t journalism. HELLO, irony! Geraldo Rivera compared Hastings to Al Qaeda. Ummm, weren’t you kicked out of Iraq for disclosing troop movements, Geraldo? Newsweek’s Andrew Bast asked Hastings two very telling questions; “the entire article was thoroughly fact-checked, yes?” and, “Do you think your access will be cut in the future?”. The list of journalists that expressed “concern” that Hasting’s unprofessionalism will cost him future access is as endless as it is depressing. Lara Logan, who I used to very much respect, went off on a tirade. She expressed doubt that Hastings is telling the truth about ground rules that were (n’t) laid out by McChrystal and his team, slams Hastings for being “fake” with his sources in order to gain their trust, implies that Hastings is a “newbie” in the middle east, and attacks him for “not serving his country the way McChrystal has”. Because she apparently didn’t sound retarded enough with those comments, she agreed when Howard Kurtz asked her is there was an unspoken agreement that reporters wouldn’t embarrass the troops by reporting on insults and banter.

Are you fucking kidding me? You know what’s embarrassing to the troops? When they act like embarrassments! You want to know what else is embarrassing to the troops? When they’re too stupid or too arrogant to know that they should self censor their remarks in the presence of a reporter.

Let me, a blogger, deliver a newsflash to our “reporters” – your job is to report the news. Your job is not to edit or censor the news. And the only point of any access you may have, is to be able to report fucking news! If you don’t do that, then any access you may have is pointless.

When Hastings was asked if he was worried that he would lose access, he replied, “I went into journalism to do journalism, not advertising…. I’m not just a stenographer There is a body of work that shows how I view these issues but that was hard-earned through experience, not something I learned going to a cocktail party on fucking K Street. That’s what reporters are supposed to do, report the story.“

I say AMEN, Michael Hastings. You’re absolutely correct. And the rest of the media should be ashamed of what they do, and even more mortified in the pride they take for doing.

You’re all an embarrassment to your profession. And I’m alarmed by the fact that you’re all too stupid or too self-interested to know that you’re an embarrassment.

If you’re interested in an artful takedown of Lara Logan for her dumbass remarks, and you don’t mind getting your news from a noncredible source like Rolling Stone, I highly recommend reading Matt Taibbi’s latest blog.

A Rising Star In The GOP?

June 23, 2010 by Bitchy

I’m referring to the emergence of the latest self entitled, petulant, underhanded and egomaniacal, fucking child. I’m speaking, of course, about Stanley McChrystal.

Mark my words, he’s going to be yet another example of how America has embraced the concept of failing upwards, more than he already has. I say more than he already has because he should have been finished years ago. His active participation in the Pat Tillman cover up should have, at the very least, prevented McChrystal from rising any further in his career. If that didn’t do it, the prisoner abuse at Camp Nama in Iraq should have done it. But no, neither of those incidents were career killers. McChrystal was inexplicably appointed by Obama to lead the war in Afghanistan.

I was concerned that Obama had chosen a man that was obviously devoid of honor to lead a marching band, let alone a war. So when McChrystal “leaked” his counterinsurgency plan to the press in order to pressure Obama to give him everything he wanted, I wasn’t surprised at all. It was a maneuver that was consistent with his history of underhanded and honorless behavior. This man is the antithesis of the courage and honor we think of when we conjure images of our military . Think about it, if McChrystal had any courage, he would have had faith in his ability to make an effective case to the white house. Since he didn’t have any confidence that he had done that, he had to do something as sleazy as leaking his wish list to the press to increase his chances of getting the resources he was asking for. It was such a slimy move, that I can hardly believe it was made by a four star General.

Obama should have fired him then since the ending to this story should have been clear at that point. But instead of firing him, Obama gave McChrystal every single resource that he wanted to “win” Afghanistan. He got all of the troops and all of the money that he wanted but that wasn’t enough for him. According to the now infamous Rolling Stone piece, McChrystal also wanted Obama to hold his hand and shower him with admiration. He wanted Obama to be more “engaged”. I have a newsflash for McChrystal; Obama inherited more problems than just your war. He inherited literally, a country in ruins. A financial collapse, ten percent of the country unemployed and losing their homes, a failed occupation in Iraq, a thoroughly broken justice department, corruption in every regulatory agency imaginable, and an unprecedented national debt. He doesn’t have time to shower you with attention and praise, you fucking child. Plus, he never claimed to be a military strategist so he did exactly the right thing; he delegated. He deferred to the judgment of people with vast experience in this area. That would be you, McWhiney.

Most military officials would be thrilled with a situation wherein they got everything they asked for without being micromanaged. But not our egomaniacal Stanley McChrystal. I suppose he would have been happier with a no-nothing Rumsfeld barking inane orders based upon unproven and ill conceived theories?

And then there was all the shit he talked about people that disagreed with his admittedly iffy plan. He’s one of those assholes that believes he’s surrounded by idiots, regardless of the qualifications of the people he’s talking shit about. I’m not going to go into every salacious quote since you’ve probably already read the Rolling Stone piece but man, did he come off as a total dick.

I love the part of the article that talks about the fact that McChrystal walks around carrying nunchucks with his name and four stars on them. For most insecure and yet egomaniacal men, driving a hummer seems to do the trick, but our Stanley needs more compensatory symbols than the average asshole to help him get through the day. In the end, he was in over his head, and had to lash out at everyone else because he isn’t capable of self awareness. I think he may need bigger nunchucks.

Stanley McChrystal has managed to live down to every expectation I had of him.

Can you tell that I won’t miss him?

My prediction is that this asshole is going to become the new Sarah Palin for the GOP. They need a more effective “hit man” than she’s proven to be. But don’t worry because like Sarah Barracuda, McChrystal has entirely too many character deficiencies to actually pull off running for high office. No, his future is as a professional mouth piece for the GOP.

I’m going to need to start buying earplugs at Costco! Lord help us all.

The Futile Boycott of BP

June 29, 2010June 15, 2010 by Bitchy

It’s true. Boycotting BP may feel good, but it’s pointless.

Recent events have curious. First, this talk of the company going under seems entirely premature to me. BP’s annual profit for 2009 was 12.5 billion. That was down from 25.5 billion in 2008. This is a trillion dollar company. Why would anyone be talking about bankruptcy this early in the game? This is especially perplexing to me when you consider the fact that Exxon ended up paying a total of 4.3 to 7 billion (I’ve seen figures in this range – can’t get an exact number) dollars in cleanup, fines, remediation, compensation, and other fees. How can anyone be talking about bankruptcy when recent precedent suggests that the total cost to BP won’t equal one years’ profit?

Another fact that most people aren’t aware of, is how big of a piece if the British economy BP represents. It’s the third largest British company. BP is such an integral part of the UK’s economy that it is responsible for one out of every seven pounds paid out in retirement funds. I am positive that President Obama has had daily phone calls with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. BP is simply too big to fail for the UK, which is why we’ll never see our president put them in receivership.

I’m not usually a conspiracy theorist, but I smell an acquisition in the air and I think that the white house it brokering a deal to make it happen. Exxon or Conocophillips would be the two companies most likely to acquire BP.

Another curious fact to that end is that President Obama appointed William Reilly to sit on a commission to investigate how this disaster happened. William Reilly currently sits on the board of directors for Conocophillips. Coincidence?

Maybe, but it smells funny when you put the whole picture together.

We know that Obama can’t actively do anything to help precipitate the demise of BP. He would be seriously jeopardizing our relationship with the UK, whose economy is already in a precarious position.

We know that BP can’t possibly be hanging by a financial thread at this stage of the disaster. To date, they’ve spent pennies of their first quarter earnings on this disaster. They have no real reason to believe that they won’t get the same disaster blue light special that Exxon got for the Valdez and yet, the press is inexplicably painting a picture of a financially crippled company. Are they priming the pump in order to sell the public on the idea that there’s a need for an acquisition?

Is it a coincidence that one of Obama’s appointees to investigate the spill sits on the board of one of the two companies that could acquire BP?

Brokering an deal a la the acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank Of America would seem to be the most logical move for Obama. It would help to salvage the British economy while limiting the amount of money that the new entity would have to pay out to cover BP’s liability in this catastrophe. This would satiate the public’s thirst for BP’s blood by “putting them out of business”. But don’t worry about the executives at BP. They will all no doubt, receive high paying board positions with their new “owners”.

Am I crazy or does this seem like the only possible end to this horrific tale?

You’ve Already Lost

June 29, 2010June 14, 2010 by Bitchy

Meg, Meg, Meg. 81 million dollars out of your own pocket, just so that you can click the “buy now” button on the governorship of California. That’s only the beginning. That 81 million is just what she had to sink into the primary. I’m fairly certain that she’s going to be pulling out her credit card at least 80 million more times before the general election.

Guess what Meg? Even if you pull off buying the governorship, you’ve already lost. You conceded to being an inferior candidate the minute you dipped into your personal fortune to buy the primary. You couldn’t even get your stinking rich robber baron friends from Goldman Sachs to pony up enough cash to make you attractive to California republicans. They apparently don’t feel that you’re a good enough investment. I’m sure they know that you’ll give them a lot of bang, but you simply cost too many bucks. You’re a loser Meg. The really pathetic part of this whole thing is that you were born really fucking rich, which means that you were given every advantage in life. You were a guaranteed winner. And now you’re a loser of monumental proportions. You may well win the governorship of California, but you and I know that you’re a loser and we always will.

Speaking of losers, how bout that Jim DeMint?

Before I get to Mr. DeMint, let me give you a little background on the South Carolina senatorial race. The winner of the democratic primary in that race was a totally unknown man named Alvin Greene. Alvin didn’t campaign at all. He didn’t run a commercial, he didn’t put up a single lawn sign. He’s piss poor and yet, he somehow managed to cough up the $10,440 filing fee to register his candidacy. Alvin was arrested on an obscenity charge back in November. Since he can’t afford an attorney, he filed the necessary paperwork in order to obtain a public defender. And we have some allegations (not yet confirmed) that republican operatives helped Mr. Greene. There are also some allegations of voter tampering, but we don’t yet know if that’s the case or if Mr. Greene simply won because his name was first on the ballot.

The whole situation smells bad. Something fishy is going on here. I’m sure that democratic party in South Carolina will get to the bottom of where the $10,440 came from. I’m fairly certain that the trail will lead back to South Carolina republicans, which brings me back to Jim DeMint.

LOSER. You’re a loser senator DeMint. We don’t know yet if he was involved in this whole Alvin Greene sleaziness or if republicans in South Carolina acted without his knowledge but either way, someone doesn’t think that Jim DeMint can win this election without cheating. That’s pretty pathetic when you consider that incumbent senators have won 78% of their elections since 1914. When add that kind of advantage to the fact that you’re a republican in a state that generally doesn’t vote for democrats, your victory should be a slam dunk.

And yet someone had to create an Alvin Greene situation in order to secure your victory. You’re a loser. And the worst part is that you’re a loser that has no respect for the people you “represent”. Whether the election was tampered with, or an assumption was correctly made that South Carolina voters would ignorantly vote for the first name on the ballot, the contempt for South Carolinians is clear.

These people are fucking losers. We all know it, and they know it. And yet, we’re going to have to tolerate their insufferable superiority and joy when they “win” their elections.

Americans need to wise up to these losers if for no other reason, than to spare me the indignity of having to witness their smugness. If you’re not going to vote in the best interest of your own community, please vote in your own self interest. Trust me, you don’t want to experience the dizzying heights of bitchiness that I will reach of I have to watch a Whitman or DeMint “victory” speech!

The Little Apologist That Could

June 8, 2010 by Bitchy

I am SO over apologists, I can’t even tell you. Corporate apologists, political apologists, national apologists, I’m fed up with all of them.

People need to understand that apologizing for their “team” necessitates more apologizing. You’re not doing your ideology any favors by making apologies and excuses. You’re just compounding the problem. And you’re insuring a lifetime of apologizing.

People often accuse me of being too hard on Obama. I firmly believe that there’s no such thing as being too hard on something that you support or supported. If supporters don’t speak out against the thing they support when they fuck up, they just guarantee that more fucking up is coming. We should demand more from the people that we support. Why would anyone actively set the bar low?

Our country is in financial ruin. Our middle east policy is an unmitigated disaster. Our money would be virtually worthless if it weren’t for the fact that our financial “big wigs” were greedy enough to ship our fiscal malfeasance all around the world. Our kids are getting dumber and dumber every year, as we drop further down the world rankings for education. Our military is on the brink of collapsing. And it’s all happening because of apologists.

We all watched Bush (2.0) get away with murder for eight long years. That didn’t happen because there wasn’t a strong opposition. It happened because his supporters were willing to go along with every single bit of bullshit he served up to them. He didn’t care about the opposition because they were irrelevant. They were never going to support him. He was going to be just fine as long as he didn’t lose his supporters.

And to make matters worse, liberals and democrats (they’re not the same thing) were so busy hating him that they weren’t paying attention to what democrats in the senate were doing when they finally regained power. Nothing changed in the senate when democrats took over. The house improved nominally, but not nearly the way it should have. The “emergency” supplementals that were putting our country in financial ruin continued. Troops levels in both the war and the occupation didn’t go down. Deregulation of fucking everything kept humming along. Nothing changed because democrats weren’t paying attention to how Evan Bayh, Ben Nelson, Blanche Lincoln, and about a half dozen other democrats in the senate were helping Bush ruin this country. They were all too busy screaming at Bush.

Supporters need to be more vigilant and critical when it comes to their own side.

We’re seeing this at play with Obama right now with the gulf oil spill. Although the damned thing is still gushing uncontrollably down there, we now know that there are engineers from all around the world working on it. We have engineers from Canada, Saudi Arabia, and Russia working on this finally. Three weeks ago, we seemed to have only BP working on this. We didn’t see much action until the public outrage over Obama’s handling of the situation began. It didn’t look like he was going to spring into action until we made him. Now I don’t know of we’re just getting better communication from the white house or if we’re getting more resources working on the problem. But either way, we’re getting more than we were before the outrage.

Refusing to accept either the half assed communication, or the half assed efforts at fixing the problem got us some results. We need to keep it up. We, the supporters of Obama are ultimately responsible for what we do or don’t get our of him.

This isn’t just relevant to Obama. This is extremely relevant to the situation in Israel at the moment.

People who are apologizing for Israel today will never be done apologizing for Israel. Jewish apologists in particular will find their children and their children’s children apologizing for Israel. The Israeli government is spiraling out of control in much the same way that the German government spiraled out of control under Hitler’s rule. I don’t believe that Hitler apologists from 1925 ever imagined, in their wildest dreams, that their great grand children would be apologizing for what happened there.

Israeli apologists, particularly in the US have the power to stop this before it goes any further. I’ve been reading far more criticism for what Netanyahu is doing in Israeli newspapers than I am in the American press. Haaretz is doing a fairly good job of presenting both sides of the story. There are even a few even handed articles in the op ed section of the Jerusalem Post, which is surprising. But the main stream American press has almost unanimously taken a pro-Israel stance on this issue.

I don’t believe that apologizing for what Israel is doing in Gaza is ultimately good for Israel. And I believe that apologists apologize for Israel at Israel’s peril. You don’t support a people by allowing them to do anything they want, regardless of international law or sentiment. You support them by forcing them to correct course when they’re driving off a cliff. Aiding and abetting criminal action is not love, it’s enabling.

I criticize because I love.

We need to stop this epidemic of apology.

One Iranian Jew’s Perspective On Israel

June 2, 2010 by Bitchy

I don’t get into Israeli politics very often. Not because I’m uninformed, but because I’m conflicted.

Here’s a little background on me. I’m an Iranian Jew. Don’t be surprised, there are actually many of us. There are no members of my family remaining in Iran, where I was born. I have dozens (possibly hundreds!) of cousins currently in Israel.

My point in sharing this information is that I have a dog in the race. I actually have several dogs in this race. That being said, I wasn’t raised to be conflicted. I grew up watching hundreds of hours of holocaust footage and films. There was never an anti-Israel perspective introduced into my childhood, probably because there isn’t a single branch of my family tree that isn’t 100% Jewish.

I never felt as if Israel was ever anything less than 100% right in anything that they ever did. As an adult, I realize now that there’s no such thing as 100% “right”. Both sides in a conflict are always partially wrong. That “good versus evil” ideology is immature and isn’t rooted at all in reality. It’s always a product of blinding bias. And I have to say that in the case if Israel, it’s the most understandable bias in human history. No people have been persecuted more relentlessly than the Jewish people. So when Israel is wronged, or perceived to have been wronged, it’s extremely personal to most Jews. None of us have to go back more than 3 generations to find personal stories of tragedy and brutality.

Yasser Arafat was the Palestinian leader for all of my formative years. He was, in my estimation, a truly loathsome bastard who was never interested in achieving peace with Israel. I honestly believe that his primary objective in life was to obliterate Israel and turn that land into a Palestinian state. His zealotry didn’t however, preclude him from exploiting his people and squirreling millions of dollars away in European banks. He was just an all round hateful piece of shit. I always felt that as long as he was in power, Israel was justified in doing whatever it had to do to keep their country because giving an inch to Arafat would mean losing everything.

There have been two times in history that I believe peace was close enough to touch. The first was when Bill Clinton was working to broker a deal between Yitzhak Rabin and Arafat. The offer from Israel was never going to get better than it did under Rabin, and Arafat knew it. He still turned it down and Rabin was rewarded for his efforts by being assassinated by one of his own.

Days before Bill Clinton left office, Arafat called him up to tell him (Clinton) that he was a great man. Clinton responded by saying, “I am not a great man. I am a failure, and you have made me one.” Clinton then went on to let Arafat know that his actions had guaranteed that Ariel Sharon would be elected the next prime minister of Israel.

Israel did elect Ariel Sharon, who was not quite the neocon that Netanyahu (who is currently in power) is, but he was definitely not likely to work for peace. He didn’t. The second near miss for peace came when Arafat came back to Sharon a year after he was elected to accept the terms that Clinton and Rabin had proposed. Sharon declined to accept.

Since Arafat’s death, there has been a dramatic role reversal between Israel and Palestinians. Israel has become the brutal aggressor, while Palestinians seem to have largely taken the approach of peaceful protest. I’m not saying that there aren’t still Palestinian terrorists whose goal it is to ensure that peace never happens. But those factions are not leading the country, and they are a minority.

Israel has become a vicious bully with tunnel vision, going so far as to slap their only ally in the face. A couple of months ago, while our Vice President was visiting Israel, the Israeli interior minister blindsided the world with an announcement that 1,600 new housing developments would be built in East Jerusalem. Israel is so tunnel visioned by their agenda, that they embarrassed the only ally they have in the world.

Between that, the thirty days of bombing the shit out of Lebanon with no regard to the loss of innocent life, and the latest murder of nine innocent people, I remain conflicted on this topic in completely different ways than I was in previous lives. I’m conflicted because I want Israel to exist peacefully. But I cannot blindly support Israel through what it’s become. I am entirely more comfortable with having a brutal enemy than I am with my own kind evolving into something that is morally indefensible.

As an American, I want to protect the interests of my country. I no longer believe that supporting Israel is in our best interest. I understand that we need a strong ally in the middle ease, but I also understand that our alliance with Israel is the primary reason for that need. I strongly believe that Netanyahu’s path is ultimately destructive to Israel, and that if they want to continue down this path, they should do it without the support of the US.

I want Israel to veer off this course of self destruction. I want my family to be able to live happy, peaceful lives. Loving someone means telling them when they’re wrong.

My objectivity leads me to conclude that I really don’t care which brutal government has control of the land currently known as Israel.