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Bitchy’s First Political Ad

I hope you guys like it.


I felt compelled to make it because I’m really disturbed by the amount of money that Meg Whitman has shelled out to buy this election.

I’m fairly certain that someone that spends nearly $200,000,000 of their own money to obtain a job that pays $175,000 per year isn’t going to be looking out for the constituency in the state of California. The math here simply doesn’t make sense.

Additionally, I really think that it says something about a candidate when they can’t raise the money they need to win an election. If she can’t manage to garner the contributions she needs to put up a good fight against Jerry Brown, how is she going to manage the state of California? She was on the board of Goldman Sachs, for gods sake. She’s gotten tons of money from her rich friends and yet, she still has to pony up thirty seven times the amount of money that an average winning senate costs? This whole situation is nothing but stinky. Nothing about this woman indicates that she’s in any way ready to manage the world’s eighth largest economy.

Please, please, please spread the word! California will not fare well if Megalomaniac manages to buy the governorship.

Here’s the link if you want to (PLEASE) share the video;



You’ve Already Lost

Meg, Meg, Meg. 81 million dollars out of your own pocket, just so that you can click the “buy now” button on the governorship of California. That’s only the beginning. That 81 million is just what she had to sink into the primary. I’m fairly certain that she’s going to be pulling out her credit card at least 80 million more times before the general election.

Guess what Meg? Even if you pull off buying the governorship, you’ve already lost. You conceded to being an inferior candidate the minute you dipped into your personal fortune to buy the primary. You couldn’t even get your stinking rich robber baron friends from Goldman Sachs to pony up enough cash to make you attractive to California republicans. They apparently don’t feel that you’re a good enough investment. I’m sure they know that you’ll give them a lot of bang, but you simply cost too many bucks. You’re a loser Meg. The really pathetic part of this whole thing is that you were born really fucking rich, which means that you were given every advantage in life. You were a guaranteed winner. And now you’re a loser of monumental proportions. You may well win the governorship of California, but you and I know that you’re a loser and we always will.

Speaking of losers, how bout that Jim DeMint?

Before I get to Mr. DeMint, let me give you a little background on the South Carolina senatorial race. The winner of the democratic primary in that race was a totally unknown man named Alvin Greene. Alvin didn’t campaign at all. He didn’t run a commercial, he didn’t put up a single lawn sign. He’s piss poor and yet, he somehow managed to cough up the $10,440 filing fee to register his candidacy. Alvin was arrested on an obscenity charge back in November. Since he can’t afford an attorney, he filed the necessary paperwork in order to obtain a public defender. And we have some allegations (not yet confirmed) that republican operatives helped Mr. Greene. There are also some allegations of voter tampering, but we don’t yet know if that’s the case or if Mr. Greene simply won because his name was first on the ballot.

The whole situation smells bad. Something fishy is going on here. I’m sure that democratic party in South Carolina will get to the bottom of where the $10,440 came from. I’m fairly certain that the trail will lead back to South Carolina republicans, which brings me back to Jim DeMint.

LOSER. You’re a loser senator DeMint. We don’t know yet if he was involved in this whole Alvin Greene sleaziness or if republicans in South Carolina acted without his knowledge but either way, someone doesn’t think that Jim DeMint can win this election without cheating. That’s pretty pathetic when you consider that incumbent senators have won 78% of their elections since 1914. When add that kind of advantage to the fact that you’re a republican in a state that generally doesn’t vote for democrats, your victory should be a slam dunk.

And yet someone had to create an Alvin Greene situation in order to secure your victory. You’re a loser. And the worst part is that you’re a loser that has no respect for the people you “represent”. Whether the election was tampered with, or an assumption was correctly made that South Carolina voters would ignorantly vote for the first name on the ballot, the contempt for South Carolinians is clear.

These people are fucking losers.  We all know it, and they know it. And yet, we’re going to have to tolerate their insufferable superiority and joy when they “win” their elections.

Americans need to wise up to these losers if for no other reason, than to spare me the indignity of having to witness their smugness. If you’re not going to vote in the best interest of your own community, please vote in your own self interest. Trust me, you don’t want to experience the dizzying heights of bitchiness that I will reach of I have to watch a Whitman or DeMint “victory” speech!



I’m referring to the merry band of miscreants that we have to choose from this November. I don’t know about where you guys live (I’d love to hear your stories), but here in New York, we’re forced to vote for another crappy senator. It doesn’t matter who we vote for, they’re all crap.

Kirsten Gillibrand is very likely going to win the senate seat she currently holds because republicans have nothing, other than a former Chief economist for Bear Stearns. Yay for us! In one of the most liberal states in America, we get to pick between two conservative corporatists. Gillibrand has spent the past year trying to “left it up” in order to secure any votes in Manhattan, but she recently showed her hand by doing her part in eviscerating the financial reform bill. She’s getting a TON of money from Wall Street to fund her campaign, which means she takes marching orders from Lloyd Blankfein. She hasn’t even been elected to that seat yet, and she’s already made it clear that her interests trump those of New Yorkers and Americans at large. What is she going to turn into after she’s obtained six more years of job security?

The sad thing is that my situation in New York isn’t even the the worst of options that Americans must make. Poor Nevada has to choose between the very the ineffective pussy that is Harry Reid and the crazy chicken lady! Arizona gets to choose between the filthy, corrupt JD Hayworth and crazy, bitter John McCain. And let’s not forget California, another liberal bastion of America. You’ve got Meg Whitman, who somehow finds time to run a campaign between board meetings at Goldman Sachs and Carly Fiorina, who was paid $45M just to get the fuck out of Hewlett Packard.

Why is this happening to America? These are not candidates that anyone can get behind, regardless of party affiliation and political ideology. No true conservative can possibly find JD Hayworth palatable if they’re being honest with themselves. And Kirsten Gillibrand, the corporatist Annie Oakley should make any self respecting democrat wretch. If we voted our conscience and our real ideology, rather than being herded by our political affiliations, we would all see that none of these people are acceptable. None of them give a fuck about protecting our interests.

Both parties have completely gone to shit, and it’s not going to stop unless we stop it. Every time we vote for one of these assholes, we’re ensuring that the next wave of candidates that our party puts in front of us is going to be worse than the last.

I have found another Senatorial candidate to support here in New York. He doesn’t have a snowballs chance of getting the word out in the face of the big money that Gillibrand is getting from Wall Street, but I’m campaigning for him. If Jonathan Tasini can siphon off 10% (I know, that’s a lot) of the votes in the democratic primary, we can send a message to the DNC.

Sadly, I feel lucky to even have another option since that’s not the case in a lot of races across the country. My plan was to just go in and undervote, meaning that I will vote on everything else, while leaving my senatorial choice blank. Trust me, undervotes do not go unnoticed. Not voting at all is completely ineffective because it appears as if we just don’t give a damn.

I fundamentally believe that the only way to change the sad state of political affairs that we find ourselves in, it for us all to work for change within our own party. I don’t believe that democrats can fix the republican party or vice versa. But if democrats send a clear message to the DNC, they’ll listen. This will never be accomplished by holding you nose and voting for the piece of shit candidate that the party has put in front of you. It certainly won’t be achieved by drinking the party kool aid and convincing yourself that piece of shit isn’t a piece of shit, simply because they’re representing your party.

It’s our responsibility to find better candidates and to support them with our votes, our time, and our money. And if you can’t find another option, maybe you should run! I’m not kidding. But barring those two scenarios, I believe that an epidemic of undervoting would send a message to our parties. We have to stop tolerating the unacceptable.

I am never going to leave the voting booth with that feeling of needing to boil my body just to clean off the stink of what I was just forced to vote for again. Are you?

Please, feel free to share your crappy candidates! It’s hard for me to stay on top of local races across the country, but I an curious!